Before I was getting married, I had set a target of losing six kgs. After six months of marriage, I had gained back the six kgs. Hmmmn-so I should have felt guilty, since women do suffer from the big guilt syndrome.
To my surprise, there was no guilt. Everyone told me it was natural after marriage to gain weight. Some even attributed the weight to ‘’the comfort hormones”.Thank God! for social stereotypes.
I was happy with the idea of the comfort hormones; it is always easier to blame it on the hormones.
Therefore, I did little about my weight and measured my self worth by the social roles I played-The good ‘bahu’, the ‘good wife’ and so on.
The result-my sense of self worth was totally dependent on how I was perceived in these social roles. So if I didnt get a thumbs up, I would subconsciously give myself a thumbs down.
Isn’t it ironic? An educated woman still depends on the thumb for social acceptance.
It is true that most of the women in India measure themselves based on their social identity rather than their self- identity. The ‘astitva’ often gets lost in striving to meet social expectations.
Can we always blame a loss of self on social demands? To be or not to be is not the question.The comfortable hormones still exist within us as excuses and mental barriers to our personal success.
The question is what we can do to break these barriers. As per the Hindu tradition, the woman is Prakriti-the nature.
Let us have a look at the elements of nature within that help break barriers and strengthen self- idenity.
Air is the energy of momentum and movement. Air revitalizes and brings freshness.We can revitalize and bring in a rhythm in our lives, but starting a heathy and active routine for our selves, incorporating a new learning each week.
The “Me time” in the calendar needs to be highlighted in bold.
Being aware of career trends, personal opportunities for growth. Conscious habit of spotting opportunity as a weekly routine
Water is fluid; it adapts and takes the form of the container. Water can teach us how to cope and adapt with change and reach out to different avenues.
Still water becomes stagnant water. It important to be aware and alert that life is like a flowing river and does not become stagnant waters at any stage.
It is always imperative to keep the fire burning to break comfort barriers. Identify your motivational drivers, what is it that ignites the fire within.
Earth is the mother of creation and roots. The element helps us identify roots. Spot the roots-enablers, and support networks in your eco- systems that can contribute to your growth and success.
These are just few insights to nurture the true nature and plant the seeds of success.
The journey though is to keeping walking beyond the comfort zone.
By Mishti Verma
Inner Katha Interventions